


In which a guild attempts to perfect raid tactics

by Archangel_Beth



Category: EverQuest, In Nomine
Genre: Gen, Superiors, all the superiors, almost all the superiors, he's very busy, jean is conspicously missing, possibly possessing a computer somewhere, so many superiors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 00:56:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18297161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archangel_Beth/pseuds/Archangel_Beth
Summary: This will probably not make good sense to anyone who doesn't know EverQuest and In Nomine, and it really should be put into a colored-text format the better to mimic the thing, but...This is inspired by incandescens.(The server is Al'Kabor, the now-gone Mac server. The guild tag displays there always lacked the first angle-brackets when you did a /who guild, for some reason.)





	In which a guild attempts to perfect raid tactics

Welcome to EverQuest!  
You have entered Rathe Mountains.  
MESSAGE OF THE DAY: Welcome to Norath! Watch out for giants.  
Genti tells the guild, 'Crap, he just logged on.'  
/who all guild  
Players in EverQuest:  
\-----------------------------  
[8 Necromancer] Genti (Gnome) Princes of Power> ZONE: paludal  
[41 Shadow Knight] Kboy (Troll) Princes of Power> ZONE: paludal  
[39 Necromancer] Pheir (Iksar) Princes of Power> ZONE: feerrot  
[50 Warrior] Thebest (Barbarian) Princes of Power> ZONE: potranq  
[50 Wizard] Times (Dark Elf) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe   
[20 Magician] Divide (High Elf) Princes of Power> ZONE: pok  
[50 Enchanter] Game (High Elf) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
There are 7 players on EverQuest.  
You tell the guild, 'Congratulations on the ding, Divide. Have you picked a last name yet?'  
Divide tells the guild, 'Andconquer.'  
Kboy tells the guild, 'We were't talking about you game.'  
You tell the guild, 'Of course not, Kboy.'  
Hot tells the guild, 'Am I l8 4 the raid?'  
/who all Hot  
Players in EverQuest:  
\-----------------------------  
[45 Cleric] Hot (High Elf) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
There is one player on EverQuest.  
You tell the guild, 'No, Hot, you are not. Everyone else but you and Times, on the other hand . . .'  
You invite Times to form a group.  
Hot tells the guild, 'Sqrm u all, ertksq!'  
Corpse tells the guild, 'sqrm u 2, hot'  
Times has joined your group.  
You have formed the group.  
Times tells the guild, 'Enough squabbling. Get here.'  
Hot tells the guild, 'Fusty old trvpqg.'  
You tell the guild, 'Take it to /tell.'  
Thebest tells the guild, 'I'm waiting for my taxi.'  
You tell the guild, 'Someone sing Tongues and remind Freespirit to log on and pick up Thebest. Unless you can do it, Times?'  
Times tells the guild, 'No.'  
Game pokes Times.  
Doktor tells the guild, 'Am I late? I just need to merchant mine some vendors for the next fireworks, omw.'  
Pheir tells the guild, 'Tassssty gnomesss.'  
Pheir tells the guild, 'In zone now.'  
Priup tells the guild, 'drum-selos rocks! yaaaaaahhoooooo!'  
Kboy tells the guild, 'yeah, yeah, heard it before. We're getting there.'  
Genti tells the guild, 'logging on my rogue'  
You tell the guild, 'these raids would go better if everyone would SHOW UP.'  
Times tells the group, '. . . on time.'  
You tell the group, '= )'  
Freespirit tells the guild, 'Sorry, sorry, gating people to PoK now. Have the crack ready!'  
Divide tells the guild, 'Logging Fractions on now.'  
Hboy tells the guild, 'Hey, invite me.'  
You invite Hboy to the group.  
Hboy has joined the group.  
/who hboy  
Players in EverQuest:  
\-----------------------------  
[50 Rogue] Hboy (Halfling) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
There is one player on EverQuest.  
You invite Pheir to the group.  
Pheir has joined the group.  
Priup tells the guild, 'Free, you don't need KEI! You have ME!'  
Freespirit tells the guild, 'Mmm, KEI * and * Bardcrack!'

_[time passes]_

/who all guild  
Players in EverQuest:  
\-----------------------------  
[31 Rogue] Hboy (Halfling) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[41 Shadow Knight] Kboy (Troll) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[39 Necromancer] Pheir (Iksar) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[50 Warrior] Thebest (Barbarian) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[50 Wizard] Times (Dark Elf) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe   
[49 Beastlord] Fractions (Ogre) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[50 Enchanter] Game (High Elf) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[50 Druid] Freespirit (Wood Elf) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[45 Wizard] Doktor (Gnome) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[49 Necromancer] Corpse (Iksar) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[37 Bard] Priup (Human) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
[45 Cleric] Hot (High Elf) Princes of Power> ZONE: rathe  
There are 12 players on EverQuest.  
You tell the raid, 'All right, groupleaders, everyone ready for a giant?'  
Freespirit says, 'Full mana, good to go.'  
Corps tells the raid, 'fm, gtg'  
Thebest tells the raid, 'Bring it.'  
You tell the raid, 'Pull, Pri.'  
Hots tells the raid, 'fm, gtg.'  
Myke says out of character, 'Got a raid on giants going, Princes?'  
Thebest says out of character, 'Giants are camped.'  
Sharpclaw says out of character, 'To the best hunters, the prey!'  
/who all Halos  
Players in EverQuest:  
\-----------------------------  
[50 Warrior] Myke (Barbarian) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[50 Cleric] Flower (Halfling) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[50 Bard] Furball (Vah Shir) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[50 Enchanter] Dreamer (High Elf) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[49 Warrior] Hardrock (Human) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[48 Beastlord] Sharpclaw (Vah Shir) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[31 Paladin] Shieldmaid (Human) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[32 Magician] Dread (High Elf) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[31 Shaman] Sage (Ogre) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[49 Paladin] Sharp (Gnome) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[37 Druid] Freetrade (Wood Elf) Halos of Light> ZONE: rathe  
[50 Wizard] Hotstuff (Dark Elf) Halos of Light> ZONE: pok  
[29 Bard] Breeze (Wood Elf) Halos of Light> ZONE: pok  
There are 13 players in EverQuest.  
You tell the raid, 'They're here in force. Watch out for killstealing. You too, Priup.'  
You say out of character, 'Remember, Sharpclaw, killstealing is against the rules.'  
Sharpclaw says out of character, 'Bite me, Game Myster.'  
Flower says out of character, 'There are plenty of giants for everyone. We'll take the far side of the hill.'  
Dread tells you, 'We'll go to the far side.'  
You tell Dread, 'Good. Thanks.'  
Priup tells the raid, 'Pulling a hill giant, get the nukes ready!'

_[some amount of mayhem later]_

You tell the raid, 'Pull, Priup'  
Priup tells the raid, 'Hey, this is boring. I'm going to get two this time.'  
You tell the raid, 'Fine, fine. We can handle two. Kboy, you take whichever Thebest doesn't.'  
Priup tells the raid, 'Pulling a hill giant, get the nukes ready!'  
Priup tells the raid, 'Pulling a hill giant, get the nukes ready!'  
Freespirit tells the raid, 'I have a lot of giants on track up there.'  
Hot tells the raid, 'I thot halos were pullin'  
You tell the raid, 'So did I . . .'  
Priup tells the raid, 'fzpu, adds'  
You tell the raid, 'Ready for crowd control.'  
Priup tells the raid, 'inc'  
Corpse tells the raid, 'dvtl! 5!'  
Freespirit tells the raid, 'More like 7, and 3 cyclops'  
Priup tells the raid, 'brtl! evac me!'  
Freespirit tells the raid, 'Gather round the druid, taxi's leaving!'  
Sharpclaw says out of character, 'Problem, Princes? Few too many giants up there?'  
You tell Dread, 'What have you been DOING over there?'  
Dread tells you, 'Killing basilisks and lizardmen.'  
Dread tells you, 'It was Breeze's idea. Myke liked it.'  
You tell the raid, 'They've been killing placeholders.'  
Priup tells the raid, 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'  
Times tells the raid, 'Evacing too.'  
Doktor tells the raid, 'Evacing, evacing, wild ride!'  
Corpse tells the raid, 'hots gating'  
You tell the raid, 'Rooting a hill giant'  
You tell the raid, 'Rooting a cyclops'  
Priup shouts, 'TRAIN TO ZONE!'  
A mystic portal forms around you.  
LOADING...  
You have entered the Plane of Knowledge.  
You tell the raid, 'Well, that was almost a total wipe. Let's get better at these raid things before we go planar, SHALL WE?'

**Author's Note:**

> **Princes of Power**
> 
> [31 Rogue] Hboy (Halfling) and [8 Necromancer] Genti (Gnome) are Haagenti. Kobal was helping Genti level when Asmodeus logged on.
> 
> [41 Shadow Knight] Kboy (Troll) is Kobal.
> 
> [39 Necromancer] Pheir (Iksar) is Beleth.
> 
> [50 Warrior] Thebest (Barbarian) is Baal
> 
> [50 Wizard] Times (Dark Elf) is Kronos.
> 
> [20 Beastlord] Fractions (Ogre) is a typo, should be level 49 (now fixed). He and [20 Magician] Divide (High Elf) are Malphas. That's Divide Andconquer, these days.
> 
> [50 Enchanter] Game (High Elf) is, natch, Asmodeus. With Charm and Mezz, as well as Root, he's crowd control. He's also nominally guild leader, I think -- or at least raid leader.
> 
> [50 Druid] Freespirit (Wood Elf) is Lilith. You owe the druid for evacing your sorry backside out of that mess, you know. Not to mention all the SoW and taxi favors you rack up.
> 
> [45 Wizard] Doktor (Gnome) is Vapula. Wizards make things go BOOM. Gnomes tinker. Nuff said.
> 
> [49 Necromancer] Corpse (Iksar) is Saminga.
> 
> [37 Bard] Priup (Human) is Valefor. No, he's not a Rogue (though Bards do get Lockpicking and some other roguish skills). Weird, huh? On the other hand, he can give Bardcrack manasong to Freespirit, so maybe that's the reason. He's probably got a rogue alt somewhere, possibly unguilded so that no one can keep track . . . Priup's last name is probably Notnailed.
> 
> [45 Cleric] Hot (High Elf) is Andrealphus. Natch, his last name is "Stuff" or "Pants" or something like that.
> 
> **Halos of Light**
> 
> [50 Warrior] Myke (Barbarian) is Michael.
> 
> [50 Cleric] Flower (Halfling) is Novalis. Her last name is probably Childe.
> 
> [50 Bard] Furball (Vah Shir) is Eli. (Why Bard? Bards have the most flexibility overall, and creative use of Songtwisting seems appropriate. Vah Shir add Safe Fall and Sneak at low levels, and all the Vah Shir class quests wind up using tradeskills -- of which Pottery seems up Eli's alley.)
> 
> [50 Enchanter] Dreamer (High Elf) is Blandine.
> 
> [49 Warrior] Hardrock (Human) is David.
> 
> [48 Beastlord] Sharpclaw (Vah Shir) is Jordi. His last name is probably Redfang.
> 
> [31 Paladin] Shieldmaid (Human) is Zadkiel
> 
> [32 Magician] Dread (High Elf) is Dominic. His last name is Judge, and everyone thinks it's a totally different pun. He ignores any questions about whether he intended that or not.
> 
> [31 Shaman] Sage (Ogre) is Yves. And may be a female ogre, just for additional weirdness. May have the last name of Advice, may still be debating that.
> 
> [49 Paladin] Sharp (Gnome) is Laurence. Short, paladin, and underestimated. He may or may not have tinkering skill enough to do anything unexpected there. Last name is Blade.
> 
> [37 Druid] Freetrade (Wood Elf) is Marc.
> 
> [50 Wizard] Hotstuff (Dark Elf) is Gabriel. NUKE NUKE NUKE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
> 
> [29 Bard] Breeze (Wood Elf) is Janus.
> 
> Jean is not present, though honestly, you never know if he might possess the server.


End file.
